Gratitude: How to Use it and Avoid Gaslighting Yourself

Gratitude is the practice of appreciating.

Gratitude is the action of being thankful.

Gratitude is the intentional warmth within reflection.

Gratitude is not something that comes naturally for most.

It is a learned behavior that becomes easier the more we practice it.

Why Use the Practice of Gratitude?

Evidence shows gratitude can…

Help improve your physical health (fewer aches and pains, increased healthy habits)

Increase happiness and decrease depression

Reduce aggression and resentment and improve empathy

Improve self-esteem and decrease comparing yourself to others

Reduce stress and improve resilience in recovery from trauma

Avoid Gaslighting Yourself

When reflecting on the things you are grateful for, do so with a sense of love and support for yourself, rather than dismissing any negative emotions or experiences.

Gratitude is NOT meant to invalidate pain you may be experiencing, but instead, it is meant to serve as a gentle prompt so that we don’t get stuck in negative thought patterns.

Example of Invalidation: “I should just get over my grandmother’s death. We weren’t even that close, and I have other grandparents that are still alive.”

Ouch.

Example of Gratitude: “I’m grateful for the people I am close with in my life, especially when I go through something difficult, like grief and loss.”

Think: I feel "this and that" vs "this or that"

Being grateful allows intentional space for experiencing positive emotions, despite other difficulties going on.

It's the reminder that things in life are not black and white. We can feel gratitude and appreciation for what is good, while other difficult emotions are present.

Other examples:

I am grateful for the delicious lunch I shared today with a friend, as I've been lonely.

I am thankful for the time I had with my pet, even though our time was cut short.

I appreciate the apology I received from my partner as we worked through a recent argument.

How do you practice gratitude? How can you incorporate more of it in your life?

Share below and check out my Mental Health Bootcamp with Liv! course to learn more about practicing gratitude and other foundational mental health skills.

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